I actually had an update half written, but my system rebooted itself and all was lost. All of it. And it was a good update! Needless to say, this update won’t be nearly as good. (notice the mac swith ad reference?)

Anyway, we awoke on Friday morning full of expectation. Our last day at the Marlinton Motor Inn was beginning. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a nice place at a great price, but we wanted to go home. I called dad and found out where he was. Around 11, we checked out of the room, met dad at the Inn’s restaurant for brunch and headed over to U-Haul to pick up the trailer.

This was supposed to be a good day. The day we got back home. The day the second dreadful part of this otherwise great vacation would end. But the bad karma would not go away without a fight. As the lady at the U-Haul counter (actually, the U-Haul station in Marlinton is a local crafts store. I got my mom a birthday present and card) was trying to bring up my reservation on her computer, she found that her Internet access was dead. We tried rebooting the modem and the computer. After 15 minutes, I looked at her system and determined the problem was with her provider. Damn. All of this whie we watched a snow storm coming over the mountains.

The lady decided to call U-Haul. They would be able to pull up the information, fill it out and fax it over for me to sign. My previous troubles with U-Haul should have prepared me for the inevitable: Her system was acting up too. This process took another 15-20 minutes. Finally, she decides to pass us to the company who administers U-Haul’s reservation application. It’s still U-Haul, they just have a different name.

We call the application company, and get Tony. Before going any further, I want to make sure something is abundantly clear: Tony is stupid. One might argue that Tony is a pawn of a stupid system, but one would be wrong. Tony is more a drone in a stupid system, too simple to realize the lunacy in what he asked and told me. So yes, once again, Tony is stupid. Also, Tony works for a stupid company, but we already know that about U-Haul, don’t we?

Tony begins taking my information from the lady at the counter. He claims he has to get the information from her. I didn’t understand since the lady we called at U-Haul had no problem taking my information from me (makes more sense that way). Not Tony, no way. Tony could not get my information from me. After relaying my Driver’s License and credit card info to Tony, I was asked about the company I worked for. Why does Tony need to know the company I work for? No matter, I tell the lady at the counter who relays it to Tony. We go through the address and phone number and like a fool, I’m thinking we’re done. Ever the optimist am I. Tony now wants contact information for a co-worker. Now, I couldn’t understand why he needed my work information, but this made no sense at all. Here I am a grown adult and I need someone to speak for me so I can rent a trailer from U-Haul?

At this point, my father grabbed the phone and talked to Tony. He asked what the hold up was, and if his License information would do. Apparently, Tony thought it would help because dad started reading off his Driver’s License info. After that, Tony needs to know where my dad works. At this point, dad and I had had it. I got the phone from dad and asked Tony what the hell was going on. Did he need my blood type? Fingerprints? What would facilitate my actually driving off with the equipment I rented? Tony explained that they didn’t have enough information to rent me the trailer, and that because I live in Virginia Beach and am trying to rent a trailer in West Virginia, he needed to verify that I was who I said I was. I responded by asking Tony how he would verify everything I had given him since I could have just made it all up (We’ll forget the fact that the lady at the counter - a U-Haul representative - verified that I was the person on the Driver’s License she read to Tony). Did I have to wait for a background check? How long would that take? Isn’t U-Haul a national company? Why would it matter where I live and where I’m renting from? Why weren’t my Driver’s License and credit card info enough? This is the best part: Tony says, “Because, we don’t know you.”

I may be a fool for thinking this, but I pretty much assumed that U-Haul didn’t need to ‘know’ me to rent to me. I’ve done this before, and my License and a credit card were plenty. No Social Security numbers, family history, references or blood samples necessary. Apparently U-Haul’s determined to go out of business by insisting they ‘get to know’ each and every one of their customers. Stupid policy, if you ask me. But then, what more could I expect from stupid Tony working for stupid U-Haul?

Somehow we appeased Tony’s need for information and got the trailer. After futzing with the fax-modem, I signed my contract, we got the trailer, hooked up the car and drove home. We got to the U-Haul counter at 11:30am. We got on the road at about 1:30pm. The snow hit as we were going through the mountains. Thanks, Tony. Thanks U-Haul.

That’s not all… more to come.