Boy, I hope I got that trademarked name correct. I’m sure Bono and crew spent long late hours making sure the correct word was parentheticized. Not a real word, I know. I know.

Anyway, iPod shuffles just got cheaper. Apple’s fun little way of saying something better is coming soon. As I mentioned earlier, Steve Jobs will personally engrave your iPod for free! Free, I tell you! Since the pastel colors of the new shuffles threaten my heterosexuality, I was looking at the only somewhat manly color on offer: red. Or, more appropriately, (PRODUCT) RED(tm). Having read some articles about the advertising costs and actual benefits reaped by (PRODUCT) RED, I was feeling somewhat cynical in choosing my engraving:

• Red:Trendy Cure 4 Middle-Class Guilt
• (From, Mira. A huge U2 fan) Red: Lick Bono’s Taint
• Red: Damn, advertising is expensive
• Red: What are we doing this for again?
• Red: Pride, In The Name Of Guilt
• Red: Achtung, bitches! Achtung!

That’s all I could come up with at work. I’m not really sure what that last one meant. I just like saying, “Achtung, bitches!” Hell, I just like saying, “Achtung!”