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25 random things about me

xian — Wed, 18 Feb 2009 02:24:20 +0000

I don’t laugh at a lot of things people find funny. I don’t know why. I really do have a sense of humor.
It has taken me way too long to fulfill my goal of getting completely out of debt.
In my life, I have broken three bones.
I am horrible at keeping in touch with people. Even people who live near me.
I am an only child.
I was born in Daytona Beach.
On the day the shuttle Challenger exploded, I was on a field trip to the very hospital where I was born.
My first car was 10 months older than me (1973 Volvo built in 11/72 according to the door plate)
I have travelled outside the U.S. once.
I have lived in 3 states. None below the Mason-Dixon line, and only one west of the Mississippi River.
When I was young, I thought alligators and dolphins were the coolest living animals. I still do.
I used to swim competitively. I have swam against 2 world record holders, 1 American record holder and a Spanish record holder. I mainly swam backstroke and breaststroke.
I make a mean chicken quesadilla and an equally mean omelet.
An ancestor of mine was on the Mayflower. I don’t know his name, but my mother has it somewhere.
I am naturally lazy. I have always had a hard time motivating myself.
Despite its grimy, run-down appearance. I love my car. It’s so fun to drive.
I’m not a very emotional person. I don’t lack emotion, and I don’t hide emotion. I just don’t emote as much as some, or even most people.
I don’t have a favorite color, food, book, actor/actress, movie or song.
I have lost two dogs in my life. One to an alligator and one to age. I still miss them both.
I don’t think I could love a job. Unless my job was sailing around the world.
I remember the weirdest things for the longest time. For example, I remember a disagreement I had w/ someone over the Geico gecko. She held that it was an Australian accent. I still maintain that it’s a Cockney accent. This discussion took place many many years ago. Despite this, I am horrible at remembering names.
Lots of times, I sound like I’m angry about something when I’m really just frustrated-with/laughing-at/complaining-about some perceived absurdity. Not Monty Python absurdity, more Jerry Seinfeld, “What’s the deal with…” absurdity.
I am quite obscene when in traffic. But any vitriol is forgotten very quickly.
I think I would have been a good actor or radio show host.
I maintain a fairly constant inner monologue. Sometimes, it’s not exactly “inner”.

Kate Micucci

xian — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 01:38:56 +0000

If you watch Scrubs, you probably saw Kate Micucci walking around with a ukulele and singing with Ted at the end. Anyway, do yourself a favor and check out her MySpace (you still have a MySpace account, right?) for some cute songs; her her facebook for some info and links – including one to her MySpace page! There’s also some YouTube stuff worth checking out.

Lastly, the girl certainly has a sense of humor. Check out the flier I yanked from her MySpace page:

Vote for you mascott

xian — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 18:00:38 +0000

EA Sports, of “It’s In The Game” fame, are gearing up to release their NCAA Football ‘09 edition for the Wii, and they’ve set up a contest to let average shmoes like you and me decide which college mascot will be on the cover. Even if you don’t have a college mascot to root for, it’s pretty cool to look at the digitized versions of the goofy things! In fact, while looking at the Big 10(+1), i realized Michigan doesn’t have a mascot! I guess I sort of always knew that, it just never registered. I also noticed the Florida State Seminole and USC Trojan are missing! What the hell, EA!?

While you’re there looking at that stuff, if you feel bad for not having someone to cast your vote for, that good looking guy on the left could use your help. I know he has that, “Stop! I lost a contact lens” look about him; trust me he never looks like this in person. He’s under “Southeastern” when you get to the site. EA Sports NCAA 09 War Eagle!

Of course, I didn’t stumble on this myself, but rather Orson at EDSBS found it for me as usual. Seriously, if you’re a college football fan and you don’t read this site, you’re missing out. Orson makes a good point about SEC mascots (apparently another thing the SEC excels in):

We cast a vote for Albert, but noticed something previously unseen: SEC mascots are all remorseless killing machines or hammered redneck militiamen with guns. Remember: as a conference we’ve got the only mascot that’s actually been on a killing spree. Toss out the genteel Commodore, and we’ve unveiled the iconic representation of all the Southeastern United States values: fangs, an unstoppable killing urge, little in the way of higher brain function, and a facility with firearms.

No argument from me. The Commodore accurately depicts what most of the SEC thinks of Vandy on the football field anyway. Think of him and Ole Miss’ Old Man Rebel, or whatever he’s called, as the zookeepers in the SEC’s jungle of cute and vaguely fierce-looking mascot animals jonsing to rip your throat out. Think we’re not crazy down there? At Auburn, we have a live Golden Eagle. She has talons as big as your eyeball and will sneak up on you and pull your head clean off before you can even blink! How about Arkansas’ live razorback pig? That bad boy has escaped before! More than once! Personally, I think the athletics department does it on purpose. Partly for drunken giggles (usually preceded by, “Hey y’all, watch this!” as the cage is opened), and partly to keep Arkansas…-ians (?) mindful of what this thing will do to their drunken butts should they stray too close to the cage one Saturday afternoon. An eagle and crazy pig aren’t enough? How about a tiger? That’s right a living, breathing, bloodthirsty tiger! Named Mike. Not kidding:

(PRODUCT) RED iPod Shuffles…

xian — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 03:56:47 +0000

Boy, I hope I got that trademarked name correct. I’m sure Bono and crew spent long late hours making sure the correct word was parentheticized. Not a real word, I know. I know.

Anyway, iPod shuffles just got cheaper. Apple’s fun little way of saying something better is coming soon. As I mentioned earlier, Steve Jobs will personally engrave your iPod for free! Free, I tell you! Since the pastel colors of the new shuffles threaten my heterosexuality, I was looking at the only somewhat manly color on offer: red. Or, more appropriately, (PRODUCT) RED(tm). Having read some articles about the advertising costs and actual benefits reaped by (PRODUCT) RED, I was feeling somewhat cynical in choosing my engraving:

Red:Trendy Cure 4 Middle-Class Guilt
(From, Mira. A huge U2 fan) Red: Lick Bono’s Taint
Red: Damn, advertising is expensive
Red: What are we doing this for again?
Red: Pride, In The Name Of Guilt
Red: Achtung, bitches! Achtung!

That’s all I could come up with at work. I’m not really sure what that last one meant. I just like saying, “Achtung, bitches!” Hell, I just like saying, “Achtung!”

Random Stuff

xian — Tue, 15 Jan 2008 13:07:25 +0000

Fast food will kill you! In other news, so will life.
Did you know Apple will laser-engrave for free iPods bought online? Here’s a list of some they rejected and some they probably should have.
GREAT article about tweens dressing like skanks. Reminds me od the time some tween boy at the mall tried to laughingly make me nervous or embarrassed by asking if he could “toss my salad.” My only response was a J.D.-like far off gaze as I imagined the poor kid’s blurry, black and white face on the back of a milk carton.
Even better article (from 2001) explaining why Apple stores are destined for failure – from Business Week, no less! My favorite part is the last paragraph where the author suggests Apple should stop doing what makes them Apple because it’s not how everyone else does it. Inspiring stuff, there.
Yet another list of things you don’t have to do. I do the stop sign thing all the time. Another one is the speed sign on on- and off-ramps. It’s a suggestions, the word “limit” is not on the sign for a reason. Also, when you swipe your card at the store and they tell you to sign – don’t bother trying to sign your actual signature. The things are set up so the clerk can’t see what your signature looks like. It’s an ID theft thing. I usually scribble and throw in a smiley face for good measure.
I love these motivational posters. When they’re funny, that is (from Imbadev.com):
It’s amazing what makes someone a celebrity. Anyone remember Ellen Feiss?
While I did watch some of this game, I missed Eric Cartman doing the introductions for the colorado Buffaloes when they played Nebraska. Offense Defense
Stephen King thinks maybe Jenna Bush should be waterboarded so she can report to her dad on whether or not it felt like torture.
Sean Taylor was murdered awhile back, and I didn’t really follow the story. Anyway, Jason Whitlock had a good story on Fox Sports about what he thinks is wrong. Whether you agree with him over what killed Taylor, you have to admit his message carries some weight on its own.
My favorite college football blog’s head honcho really hates baseball. I like baseball, but then again I like ice hockey too, and according to ESPN, hockey scores and highlights just happen – nobody really plays ice hockey anymore. I also like rally racing and Formula 1. According to all US sports outlets, these things simply don’t exist.
I read through Engadget and Gizmodo on a daily basis, and I usually look forward to the annual Consumer Electronics Show. Lately, I’ve noticed myself breezing through more and more posts as the gadgets covered are either useless, overpriced or just plain crap. Anyway, someone at Gizmodod apparently agrees. Good read.
Speaking of CES… Gizmodo foklks got hold of a wondrous device that will turn off most any TV… hijinks ensued. Possibly the funniest video of nothing but televisions being turned off.

Random Stuff

xian — Tue, 08 Jan 2008 17:18:44 +0000

Seeing as how my life apparently isn’t interesting enough to warrant a monthly update, here’s more junk from around the net…

A list of 10 weird fetishes. Seriously, we were all babes in the woods fetish-wise before the great and powerful (and perverted) Internet came along.
This was titled “Exactly what’s wrong w/ America” on digg. I wouldn’t say “exactly”, but it certainly plays its part. I wonder if she stole that from the Wal-Mart.
The only word you’ll ever need (aside from the ‘F’ word, that is):
What will $611 billion (with a ‘B’) get you these days? That’s how much it’s cost so far to bring democracy to Iraq. A list of things our leaders wouldn’t dream of funding even without paying for a war.
Rock, Paper, Scissors… Thought you were playing by the right rules? (Found on digg)

I understand how scissors can beat paper, and I get how a rock can beat scissors; but there’s no way paper can beat rock. Is paper supposed to magically wrap around rock and leave it immobile? Why can’t paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can’t paper do this to people? Why aren’t sheets of college-ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they take notes in class? I’ll tell you why: because paper can’t beat anybody. A rock would tear it up in 2 seconds. When I play rock, paper, scissors, I always choose rock. Then, when someone claims to have beaten me with their paper, I can punch them with my already clenched fist and say, “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought paper would protect you.”
Lately, I’ve thought about giving into the whole ribbon-magnet thing, but with my own cynical flair. I figured it should be easy to find one supporting the magnetic ribbon making industry, but then I saw this…. and this. Both of which are just as good. Oh, and there was this too.
Quite possibly the coolest/funniest kitty litter packaging ever.
35 useless facts you probably did/didn’t know. A couple problems with the list: 28 is untrue and Mr. Rogers was an ordained minister – he’s more like a doornail now. Dead, that is.
I don’t know why, but this made me laugh so hard.

Our fine President

xian — Wed, 03 Oct 2007 17:13:39 +0000

Found this on Wonkette. Bush declared yesterday before vetoing a child health bill today. It’s all about the photo ops, kids.

Dick.

Google was born the day after I was!

xian — Thu, 27 Sep 2007 18:52:39 +0000

Off by one day – how cool would it have been to share a birthday w/ Google?

Happy Birthday to me.

xian — Wed, 26 Sep 2007 13:55:57 +0000

One day/year older today and I feel the same. So let’s see what have I done today…

Got into a comment argument with this guy.
Got note on myspace from an old high school/college friend saying happy b-day.
Spoke to Janel who called me at work to say happy b-day.
Why isn’t this man running for President!?
Read this while catching up with digg.com posts. Sad.
Had a few beers after work with a friend.
Played some Wii Tennis… Stunk at it.
Met up w/ some folks for “dinner” at a Tapas place.
Got Dinner at Taco Bell.
Opened and assembled my present… a tall fan for my room.
Had a couple more beers w/ friends before going to bed.

It’s a whirlwind of excitement, I know. I had fun and look forward to seeing how the fan works tonight. I’m finishing this up on the 27th, roughly 12,419 days old.

“It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia” Season 3

xian — Thu, 13 Sep 2007 00:47:39 +0000

…Starts this week! If you haven’t seen this show, you need to get your butt to Hollywood Video (b/c Blockbuster is the Anti-Christ… but you already knew that) or Netflix that puppy real quick like. Seriously, this is one the the funniest shows I’ve ever seen. I couldn’t be happier that it’s not on one of the big three networks. FX has some good ju-ju going on with Rescue Me and It’s Always Sunny… much better than most of what I’ve seen on the three-headed hydra that is AB-NB-CBS.