Be sure to watch the videos… and like most movies today, stay for through the credits.

While you’re there looking at that stuff, if you feel bad for not having someone to cast your vote for, that good looking guy on the left could use your help. I know he has that, “Stop! I lost a contact lens” look about him; trust me he never looks like this in person. He’s under “Southeastern” when you get to the site. EA Sports NCAA 09 War Eagle!

Of course, I didn’t stumble on this myself, but rather Orson at EDSBS found it for me as usual. Seriously, if you’re a college football fan and you don’t read this site, you’re missing out. Orson makes a good point about SEC mascots (apparently another thing the SEC excels in):

We cast a vote for Albert, but noticed something previously unseen: SEC mascots are all remorseless killing machines or hammered redneck militiamen with guns. Remember: as a conference we’ve got the only mascot that’s actually been on a killing spree. Toss out the genteel Commodore, and we’ve unveiled the iconic representation of all the Southeastern United States values: fangs, an unstoppable killing urge, little in the way of higher brain function, and a facility with firearms.

No argument from me. The Commodore accurately depicts what most of the SEC thinks of Vandy on the football field anyway. Think of him and Ole Miss’ Old Man Rebel, or whatever he’s called, as the zookeepers in the SEC’s jungle of cute and vaguely fierce-looking mascot animals jonsing to rip your throat out. Think we’re not crazy down there? At Auburn, we have a live Golden Eagle. She has talons as big as your eyeball and will sneak up on you and pull your head clean off before you can even blink! How about Arkansas’ live razorback pig? That bad boy has escaped before! More than once! Personally, I think the athletics department does it on purpose. Partly for drunken giggles (usually preceded by, “Hey y’all, watch this!” as the cage is opened), and partly to keep Arkansas…-ians (?) mindful of what this thing will do to their drunken butts should they stray too close to the cage one Saturday afternoon. An eagle and crazy pig aren’t enough? How about a tiger? That’s right a living, breathing, bloodthirsty tiger! Named Mike. Not kidding:

This is more for the Florida fans looking for someone to blame for last week’s loss. Mergz at Saurian Sagacity had an unbelievable number of tickets and is one well-connected Gator fan judging by the people he hangs with on game day. Apparently he forgot the cardinal rule of all SEC football, the one I alluded to previously. Never mess with the ju-ju. If your team’s on a winning streak, they respect the streak and so should you as a fan. Do nothing that might jeopardize your team’s chances of winning.

…A player on a streak has to respect the streak.
…If you believe you’re playing well because you’re getting laid, or because you’re not getting laid, or because you wear women’s underwear, then you ARE! And you should know that!
–Crash Davis

So yeah, after reading Mergz’s post, he’s totally to blame for Florida’s loss.

Totally random, but since this is the last post about the Auburn/Florida game (I really do mean it), I had to throw this in from Will Collier at From the Bleachers:

I get kind of vocal when I watch Auburn or Florida games, as most sports fans often do. I’m sure my neighbors heard my feelings about the kick return interference call loud and clear. That said, I don’t recall carrying on a one-sided conversation with anyone on TV. This kid looked like he was about to head to the top of Century Tower and partake of some people-hunting! Seriously, “You’re … fired Meyer”? 9 months after winning the BCS Championship and it’s time to let the guy go? Wow, talk about a tough fan base! They need a camera around this guy when the Gators go to Baton Rouge this weekend!

Century Tower from where some disgruntled Gator fan “fires” Urban Meyer.”

Also, huge thanks to From the Bleachers (one of the two Auburn blogs I regularly read) for not publicizing his thoughts about Auburn before the game. He quotes Hank Hill on mojo, I’ll quote myself on ju-ju:

Ju-ju… don’t you f***ing dare even think about screwing with it!
–Me

Simply put, if you think Auburn’s going to win, please do the rest of the Auburn faithful a favor by keeping your mouth shut. I think we all agree by now that this team does so much better when nobody thinks they have a chance, so let’s just always assume they’re going to lose. Keep waiting for the big interception, the stupid momentum-crushing penalty or the return of the Bizarro Tigers who played USF and MSU.

I’m usually not half bad at picking college games, but I am terrible when it comes to Auburn/Florida. Perhaps it’s because it’s always such a messed up game. This is best illustrated in this post on everydayshouldbesaturday.com:

And finally: Brandon Cox may miss his start against Florida due to heavy menstrual bleeding.* The only other injury on Auburn’s side will be the lingering injury to Quentin Groves, whose own massive balls hurt his back and general mobility six days of the week, but seem not to affect him on Saturdays.

*Egad, has Brandon Cox been terrible–we hear the worst of it from Auburn alum Cuddles, who’s exhausted his septic tank of profanities trying to accurately describe how bad he’s been. But that’s against every other team but Florida, where he’ll probably pull himself together and throw for 400 yards and five tds on us after we write that. That’s just the kind of jankety shit that always happens in Auburn/Florida games. Unlike Kyle**, we don’t hate Auburn. But damnation on a shitstick do we hate playing them.

** NOTE: Kyle is a Georgia fan and his site was linked there on the original post. We don’t link UGA sites here, and frankly I’m surprised Orson, the Gator fan that runs EDSBS did.

The “Rammer Jammer Cheer” is a traditional and controversial cheer which taunts the Crimson Tide’s football opponents. It typically is played towards the end of a game when an Alabama victory is certain. Fans cheer:

Hey Tigers!
Hey Tigers!
Hey Tigers!
We just beat the hell outta’ you!
Rammer Jammer Yellow Hammer
Give ‘em hell, Alabama!

What an incredibly lame-ass cheer. Seriously, “rammer jammer”? Couldn’t find another meaningless phrase that actually rhymes with ‘Alabama’? The possible meanings of the ‘yellow hammer’ combined with ‘rammer jammer’ simultaneously confuse and frighten me.

The closest to this I’ve seen at an Auburn game was an old VW van painted in blue with scores of all the games it had attended hand-painted in orange all over. It had been to quite an impressive number of games.

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One might argue that asking residents of Columbus, OH to run in January is a much less attractive proposition than asking the same of Gainesville, FL residents. Still, it is Ohio State that issued the challenge, so the whole “we have terrible winters in Columbus” argument doesn’t really hold water – this is about school spirit folks. You live in Columbus, so you should be at least somewhat familiar with running in the cold. On the other hand, Gainesville folk are decked out in full arctic gear once the mercury drops below 55!

Well it’s February, the challenge is over, and as the [NAME REDACTED] Bowl went, so did Ohio State’s Nike challenge:

First the [NAME REDACTED] Bowl, then the Nike challenge. In the *edited* words of Bob Costas, “God must really have it in for [Ohio State]“.