This has been stagnating in my drafts folder since last September. I guess with the Superbowl (am I allowed to write that? Have I broken a copyright?) this weekend, it’s sort of relevant. Either way, I wish I was this creative and motivated in school. Either these kids are Yale fans, or they’re just similarly devious:

Dad sent me this and asked me to post it somewhere he could point people. Well here it is, Dad, Dad’s friends, Dad’s colleagues. Hope you enjoy it. Also, don’t go anywhere on this site, because I don’t want to embarrass Dad by letting his friends and colleagues see what a cynical, sometimes hateful, degenerate I can be.

• Fast food will kill you! In other news, so will life.
• Did you know Apple will laser-engrave for free iPods bought online? Here’s a list of some they rejected and some they probably should have.
• GREAT article about tweens dressing like skanks. Reminds me od the time some tween boy at the mall tried to laughingly make me nervous or embarrassed by asking if he could “toss my salad.” My only response was a J.D.-like far off gaze as I imagined the poor kid’s blurry, black and white face on the back of a milk carton.
• Even better article (from 2001) explaining why Apple stores are destined for failure - from Business Week, no less! My favorite part is the last paragraph where the author suggests Apple should stop doing what makes them Apple because it’s not how everyone else does it. Inspiring stuff, there.
• Yet another list of things you don’t have to do. I do the stop sign thing all the time. Another one is the speed sign on on- and off-ramps. It’s a suggestions, the word “limit” is not on the sign for a reason. Also, when you swipe your card at the store and they tell you to sign - don’t bother trying to sign your actual signature. The things are set up so the clerk can’t see what your signature looks like. It’s an ID theft thing. I usually scribble and throw in a smiley face for good measure.
• I love these motivational posters. When they’re funny, that is (from Imbadev.com):
  
• It’s amazing what makes someone a celebrity. Anyone remember Ellen Feiss?
• While I did watch some of this game, I missed Eric Cartman doing the introductions for the colorado Buffaloes when they played Nebraska. Offense Defense
• Stephen King thinks maybe Jenna Bush should be waterboarded so she can report to her dad on whether or not it felt like torture.
• Sean Taylor was murdered awhile back, and I didn’t really follow the story. Anyway, Jason Whitlock had a good story on Fox Sports about what he thinks is wrong. Whether you agree with him over what killed Taylor, you have to admit his message carries some weight on its own.
• My favorite college football blog’s head honcho really hates baseball. I like baseball, but then again I like ice hockey too, and according to ESPN, hockey scores and highlights just happen - nobody really plays ice hockey anymore. I also like rally racing and Formula 1. According to all US sports outlets, these things simply don’t exist.
• I read through Engadget and Gizmodo on a daily basis, and I usually look forward to the annual Consumer Electronics Show. Lately, I’ve noticed myself breezing through more and more posts as the gadgets covered are either useless, overpriced or just plain crap. Anyway, someone at Gizmodod apparently agrees. Good read.
• Speaking of CES… Gizmodo foklks got hold of a wondrous device that will turn off most any TV… hijinks ensued. Possibly the funniest video of nothing but televisions being turned off.

Weird, sad and a little funny all at the same time. Legally, very interesting.

Seeing as how my life apparently isn’t interesting enough to warrant a monthly update, here’s more junk from around the net…

• A list of 10 weird fetishes. Seriously, we were all babes in the woods fetish-wise before the great and powerful (and perverted) Internet came along.
• This was titled “Exactly what’s wrong w/ America” on digg. I wouldn’t say “exactly”, but it certainly plays its part. I wonder if she stole that from the Wal-Mart.
• The only word you’ll ever need (aside from the ‘F’ word, that is):
  
• What will $611 billion (with a ‘B’) get you these days? That’s how much it’s cost so far to bring democracy to Iraq. A list of things our leaders wouldn’t dream of funding even without paying for a war.
• Rock, Paper, Scissors… Thought you were playing by the right rules? (Found on digg)
  

  I understand how scissors can beat paper, and I get how a rock can beat scissors; but there’s no way paper can beat rock. Is paper supposed to magically wrap around rock and leave it immobile? Why can’t paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can’t paper do this to people? Why aren’t sheets of college-ruled notebook paper constantly suffocating students as they take notes in class? I’ll tell you why: because paper can’t beat anybody. A rock would tear it up in 2 seconds. When I play rock, paper, scissors, I always choose rock. Then, when someone claims to have beaten me with their paper, I can punch them with my already clenched fist and say, “Oh, I’m sorry. I thought paper would protect you.”

• Lately, I’ve thought about giving into the whole ribbon-magnet thing, but with my own cynical flair. I figured it should be easy to find one supporting the magnetic ribbon making industry, but then I saw this…. and this. Both of which are just as good. Oh, and there was this too.
• Quite possibly the coolest/funniest kitty litter packaging ever.
• 35 useless facts you probably did/didn’t know. A couple problems with the list: 28 is untrue and Mr. Rogers was an ordained minister - he’s more like a doornail now. Dead, that is.
• I don’t know why, but this made me laugh so hard.

…at any concert/music festival. Someone should make a T-shirt:

• Easily the best political ad ever. EV. AR. Gizmodo
• I’ve never seen this show, but this is just awesome:
  
  
  
• everydayshouldbesaturday.com is quickly becoming one of my favorites. Between the writing and, well, the writing is really good. Anyway, apparently he’s as dumbfounded by this Guinness commercial as I am.
• George Carlin preaches it like only he can. (if this has been removed just google George Carlin “Who owns you americans”):
  
• Esquire has the 5 Most Inappropriate Children’s Videos. The y saved the best for first in this list as G.I. Jimmy is probably the coolest thing on Esquire’s entire site!
• Here’s a great list of why gay marriage should not be legal (in jest of course)
• Another stupid list about how gadget-ized our society is. Still, kind of funny.

Found this on Wonkette. Bush declared yesterday before vetoing a child health bill today. It’s all about the photo ops, kids.

Dick.

… I swear. Promise. Cross my heart.

This is more for the Florida fans looking for someone to blame for last week’s loss. Mergz at Saurian Sagacity had an unbelievable number of tickets and is one well-connected Gator fan judging by the people he hangs with on game day. Apparently he forgot the cardinal rule of all SEC football, the one I alluded to previously. Never mess with the ju-ju. If your team’s on a winning streak, they respect the streak and so should you as a fan. Do nothing that might jeopardize your team’s chances of winning.

…A player on a streak has to respect the streak.
…If you believe you’re playing well because you’re getting laid, or because you’re not getting laid, or because you wear women’s underwear, then you ARE! And you should know that!
–Crash Davis

So yeah, after reading Mergz’s post, he’s totally to blame for Florida’s loss.

Totally random, but since this is the last post about the Auburn/Florida game (I really do mean it), I had to throw this in from Will Collier at From the Bleachers:

I know I’m laying it on kind of thick considering I’m and Auburn and Florida fan (yes, it’s possible), but even folks who don’t follow football should find this funny.

I get kind of vocal when I watch Auburn or Florida games, as most sports fans often do. I’m sure my neighbors heard my feelings about the kick return interference call loud and clear. That said, I don’t recall carrying on a one-sided conversation with anyone on TV. This kid looked like he was about to head to the top of Century Tower and partake of some people-hunting! Seriously, “You’re … fired Meyer”? 9 months after winning the BCS Championship and it’s time to let the guy go? Wow, talk about a tough fan base! They need a camera around this guy when the Gators go to Baton Rouge this weekend!

Century Tower from where some disgruntled Gator fan “fires” Urban Meyer.”